I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
