So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
