i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
