you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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