when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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