i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
