Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
