marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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