at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
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