I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Houston, we have a squirter
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
