): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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