My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
