just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
