did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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