drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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