I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
