Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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