She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize