I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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