guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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