when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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