last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
