where does the pee come out of this thing
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
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