We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
