apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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