Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
only you would photoshop your dick
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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