I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
