At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
