So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
