how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
