Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
