Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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