Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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