Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
