We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
