): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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