I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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