Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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