So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
is wine microwaveable?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
