and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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