remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
