I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
