i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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