Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
too bad you live with your parents still
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
