Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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