he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
