I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
