Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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