i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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