He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
