There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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