Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
