My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
